Remembering Mom...

 

On the evening of Thursday, June 9, my brother Daniel called letting me know that mom was not long for this world. She had recently been placed in a local nursing home where she would receive the care she needed and was doing okay. That Thursday, she began to decline and dad called the ambulance. EMS arrived, moved her onto the gurney then as they were assessing her, shared with my dad that she was passing away and it would be more comfortable for her to stay. She was placed back on her bed and dad and Daniel began to call family members. Nathan and Jen came along with a friend while Daniel called me, someone called Aunt Joanie and someone called Josh so we could all say good-bye and tell her that we loved her. 

The nurses showed such compassion and love to my family as we loved, watched and waited for God's timing. The nurses would come in to see how everyone was doing and encouraged us by letting us know that mom was comfortable and was not in pain. It was so good to hear this as I could hear her breathing more and more slowly. It relieved my heart some to know that she was not in pain. We told her it was okay for her to go to Jesus and that we loved her. We kept repeating the same things to her. I think it was about 45 minutes after Daniel called me that mom slipped away. I stayed on the phone for a bit just to talk with family, to be with them (even if just over the phone) and to begin the conversation of what's next. 

Mom passed away that Thursday and BFA graduation was Friday, the next morning. I had signed up to help with Grad; specifically helping to serve at the reception after the ceremony which I love doing! I also signed up to help with the clean up in the gym. Needless to say, I did not go. I stayed home to process what had just happened, chatted with family about what needed to be done next and found a flight to Minneapolis. Unfortunately, that flight was cancelled so I called Delta as they have bereavement flights and was able to set up another flight Sunday morning which had me flying out the next day, Monday. 

I arrived in Minneapolis on Monday afternoon and was picked up by my friend's husband and taken to their home (15 minutes from the airport) where Aunt Joanie was. We drove to Osakis that evening then stayed the night at Joanies. Did I mention I was also working on my last course for my masters? This course packed a semester of learning into the month of June and I had done about a week of the course at that point. God was so gracious in providing time to work on school work yet also time to connect with family and loved ones who came to the Visitation and Celebration of Life service. 

Three moments stand out as I reflect back over my time in Watertown with family. One is conversations with so many of you at the Visitation and Celebration of Life service. Someone commented how funerals can be a sweet time of connecting and conversation and I found that to be so true! I loved hearing stories of my mom, talking with so many that I had not spoken with for years, hearing tales of when my parents were first married!, and getting updates on friends and children and grandchildren. That was such a sweet time. 

A second moment was writing Thank you cards with dad, Nathan and Jen, Joanie and Josh as we sat around Nathan and Jen's table. Jen and I had set up a system of piles; cards that needed a response, envelopes addressed, Thank you cards with the extra written message, Thank you cards for Joanie to write, those for dad, those for Nathan and Jen, me, etc. It was not complex yet there were moments of laughter as Joanie and dad kept messing up the system! There were also moments of sweet comfort as we read messages written by dear family and friends. 

On Sunday after church, dad and I sat down to go over some photos from the church I grew up in when I was young. When my parents were first married, they attended a Lutheran church in Castlewood for a few years. When I was around 5, they chose to attend church in Watertown at a small non-denominational church called Christian Faith Fellowship. Pastor Gary Johnson and his wife, Lois were pastoring the church at the time. Along with his brother and wife, Gary and Lois were also part of a gospel music team called the Gloryland Gospel Team. Pictures had been gathered and placed in a photo album which ended up at my parents home that was from that time period. We had such fun going through photos and remembering people and events of the past. The oldest kids I remember were Michelle Kangas, the Aason boys, and Robin Heiser. There were older kids but they were much older so I don't remember them. I was remembering Hazel Padgett, who taught Sunday School and would only use the Bible as a resource. I think I was the youngest in the class and would ask to go to the bathroom then sneak into the nursery as I didn't like the class. I also remember Myrtle Koistinen whose husband, Arnold dedicated red hymn books to the church (His name was written inside the covers). He was really sick and was not able to come to church. I remember sitting by Myrtle during the church service, not sure how often. I also remember Opal Blek! She was my 'pretend grandma' and I would also sit by her in church. I even spent the night with her a few times and learned how to play Skip-Bo and cook noodles. I loved spending time with her as she expressed interest in me and took the time to get to know me which meant so much! She also told me stories about her childhood, including bedbugs! There are many more sweet memories of that time as well with Daniel yelling "yuck" during a service where Michelle Kangas sat at a table set up with place settings and Pastor Gary making a reference to sauerkraut. I have no idea what the message was about but Daniel yelling really stands out! My favorite song was "Away in a Manger" and I would request it to be sung at all times of the year! I also loved to share stories (embarrassing ones about my mom) when Pastor Gary opened up the service for people to share stories (he meant, of course, how God was working in people's lives). He learned to change his termonology to testimonies, which kept me quiet as I didn't know what that word meant! Ok, so now I am being flooded by memories and this paragraph is getting really long! 

There will be more memories to come and more blogs to write as I process losing my mother. Thank you for reading!